Virtual Sun

Networking: A Woman's Contact Sport - Author Larry James

2006-08-21T18:16:00.000-04:00

Making the right contacts in business is extremely important to your success.

The truth is, no one really has cornered the market on networking as a contact sport. Networking is too big a sport for anyone to ever get a corner on it. For those of you who are successful, however, it's more than a favorite pastime. It's a way of life.

Most successful business women that I know are active networkers. Women excel in networking. Ask me, I know. I know a professional networker when I see one. I have built my professional speaking and publishing career by networking.

Meeting people is a must. It's not only "who you know," it's "who knows you." Meeting the people who count has to be a top priority. Meeting the right people gets you noticed and gets you places. If you have a desire to work smart, networking is one way to effectively do that.

Successful women in networking are not shy. Nancy Siegel, owner of Nancy Siegel Insurance Agency, Inc., says, "Don't be afraid to be the first one to speak to a stranger. Most people feel as uncomfortable as yourself and are usually glad to have someone to talk with after the ice is broken."

It has been my experience that women seem to have a special knack for networking. Perhaps it is inbred in our culture. Women always seem to intuitively understand where to go or who to contact for just about anything they need or want to know. There are many men who are very successful at networking, however, when it comes to being creative with contact talents, women get "thumbs up" from me.

Let's put networking in the right perspective. For the purpose of this discussion, let's work with a definition of networking that has served me well.

Now, lets take a moment to think about that. Is that a belief system you could buy into? Read it again.

It is estimated that 65 - 75% of those people who are actively engaged in networking are women. People who network keep score by how many business leads they give others, not by how many leads they receive.

Kathy Holt, owner of Forget-Me-Not Gift Baskets, Inc., says, "If you really network right, with a commitment to only helping others, you will get back twice as much and make lifetime friendships." She should know. Kathy experienced a 38.6% increase in business in five months after she joined The Tulsa Business Connection, a group I founded in 1985. She also recommends joining and getting involved with the Chamber of Commerce.

You won't find people who take the easy way out actively participating in networking groups. Experienced networkers can spot someone who is only in it for themselves a mile away. People who want something for nothing do not succeed at networking. They fade in and drop out.

We erroneously call these people losers. They are not losers, they have yet to understand that to be successful you must first have integrity and second, commitment. They seldom stay with a project until its completion. Therefore they don't do well when networking because networking demands both integrity and commitment. People who know the truth behind my definition of networking know that when you help others get what they want, you ultimately get what you want.

High achievers consistently are looking for a way to better themselves and to assist others in the process. They know that by participating in someone else's success, they become more successful. You can't be afraid of hard work and effectively network.

Networking works. And you must consistently work it. Rose Mary Winget, sales manager at McCaw Communications once told me, "Don't say you don't have time. You don't have time not to network." Her entire sales staff is actively involved in networking groups. She also hired me to present my networking seminar, Networking: Making the Right Connections, to her group.

Rose Mary's experience has taught her that networking gets quicker results than prospecting. When you prospect, you are looking for potential customers and clients. When you network, you capitalize on the alliances you have developed with others in your network; they do your prospecting for you.

It makes sense. You can multiply your own personal effectiveness by the number of people you know, who believe in you, like you, trust you and are committed to refer business leads to you. Isn't it a better use of your time to develop close personal and business relationships with people who are on your side and will help you succeed?

Many salespeople never get down to business. Their only interest is "busy-ness." I don't know about you, but busy-ness has never made me any money. To be successful, you must do what counts. Focus on what matters. Networking is building supportive personal and busines relationships; it's meeting new people and making new friends; it's helping others help themselves.

Marilyn Minter, a former Tulsa real estate agent started her own networking group, "Tulsans Networking Tulsa" (TNT) in March, 1991. Marilyn says, "Networking has given me the opportunity to make contact with literally hundreds of people. I never would have met those people without networking. The heart of my real estate business came from the personal referrals acquired while networking." Her advice to women who are considering networking, "Get started. Be patient. Believe in yourself and never quit."

Within the concept of networking is a blueprint for change. With change comes new ways of thinking. If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always gotten.

There is only one way to keep your career growing. YOU must keep growing. Ask the women who network about the personal growth they have experienced. Ask them about how much better they feel about themselves now that they are doing more of what the pros do.

In meetings that are specifically designated for networking, each person is asked to give their "30 Second Connection" as a way of introducing themselves and their business to the group. After her first networking meeting, Vicky Olsen, who was visiting the group to fill the banker slot, confided in me that standing up to give her "30 second connection" to the group was very scary and she wasn't sure she would return.

I asked her what her goals were for her advancement at the bank. She told me. I then explained that if she ever expected to achieve her goals, one of the most important elements of her success would be networking. To overcome her fear, I suggested that she take the Dale Carnegie Course. She did and later became one of their top "graduate assistants."

I also told her that as far as presenting her "30 second connection" was concerned, if she followed the guidelines, she couldn't get it wrong because no one in the audience knew what she was going to say anyway. I also suggested that she take an active part in the leadership of the group.

Less than a year later, she was the Treasurer of the group and served two one-year terms. Each week she stood unafraid to give the Treasurer's report. And now the good news: Vicky was promoted to Vice President of the bank.

It takes courage to network; do put yourself "out there;" to consistently move toward something better; to become the someone you look up to. The more you network, the more courage you receive. Be courageous and you will discover more courage!
Unless you are committed to doing more than you've done before, you will feel some discomfort when becoming involved in networking. This is natural. You will be in the presence of doers. You, who are not doing, may be confronted by this. Thus, you may feel uncomfortable.

People who do more get results! They are actively engaged in activities that feed their enthusiasm for their calling. For them, backward in not an option. They are on "fast forward." They get things done. They make every minute count when they are networking. They are aware of the "net" result. They know that what you put out to the universe, always comes back to you. They are dedicated to doing good for others.

How many successful people do you know? Network to get to know more. The energy they dedicate to helping others is infectious. Listen to their success stories. Listen for the opportunity that a fresh perspective presents. For me, it's a lesson in inspiration; inspiring me to be the best I can be.

For a horse, one inch farther often wins the race. In networking, you never know when the next contact you make may be the one inch that puts you in the winner's circle.

I met Gregory J.P. Godek -- America's Romance Coach -- while networking. Greg is the best-selling author of 1001 Ways to Be Romantic. We sat at the same lunch table at a National Speakers Association meeing many years ago. He referred me to his book distributor. Five days later, I had a three year contract for them to distribute my relationship books to all the major book stores. This was a big break for me. We have since become great friends. He mentions my work in the relationship area in his books; I mention his work for the "romantically impaired" in my books.

Networkers play too! When they play, they have fun. They know that the time they devote to social and recreational activities with family and friends pays off with a sense of having recharged their batteries. After 11 years of networking, Nancy Siegel advises: "Know when to stop and recharge. Learn how to say "no" to please yourself instead of "yes" to please others. when you network, network! Whey you play, play!"

Remember too, the energy level of successful people operates above average because they love who they are and what they do.

Above average people network for above average results. They know a good thing when they see one. They stick with it. They are the above average women who have discovered a wonderful contact sport called "networking" and are still making new and exciting personal and business contacts after "all these years."

Copyright © 2006 - Larry James. Reprinted with permission. - Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of, "Ten Commitments of Networking; Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections." Larry James presents networking seminars nationally and "Networking" coaching. Contact: Larry James, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. LarryJames@CelebrateLove.com - www.TenCommitmentsofNetworking.com

What we're doing

2005-09-16T10:45:00.000-04:00

I just love my logo! If you need a logo done for your business or know of anyone that needs one, please contact my designer, Ed Lain. He will give you several choices for you to tweak and select from.

I am just starting to learn Dreamweaver. I'm looking forward to creating a professional looking website that lists all of my capabilities in administrative support. I will be sharing some of my findings here on this blog that may be valuable to someone else that is learning also.

Here is a site that has some links for Free Graphics Utility software. http://www.smokingun.co.uk/sg/freestuff.htm

I love About.com. I've learned so much over the years from that site. Here is more on Dreamweaver. http://webdesign.about.com/od/dreamweaver/ss/aassdwwalk.htm

The new range is coming today. I'm so excited. I think my youngest son will be happy to. I usually tell him a bedtime story every night. He will ask me to tell about our normal characters in our story and then adds a new character or person on occasion that he wants me to include in the story. He is now requesting different scenarios that he wants me to follow. Some must be more fun than others for him to hear. Starting about a month ago he has been requesting that I include "Mommy baking a cake for me". So now I will be able to bake him his cake. His wish come true? I love that little sweetie pie!

My almost-teen daughter is going to a weekend camp today. I will pick her up on Sunday. This is for her Youth Community Leadership program that she was nominated for. There are 3 other girls her age in the program from her school. I hope she realizes what a huge honor this is. Not everyone is nominated by teachers and counselors from their school as having the makings of a good leader. She is such a good girl. If I would have known about the program, I would have nomiated her too. I'm so very proud of her!

I've finally decided that I just have to have Roman blinds in the kitchen. Nothing else will look right, so I surfed the internet to see if I could find a site with instructions. Have you priced them in the store or online? They cost a fortune and since I know how to sew and enjoy it, I think I'll make them myself. http://www.alternative-windows.com/roman-blind.htm. I also have a sister, two sister's-in-law and a mother-in-law that sews . I'm thinking about hosting a Sewing Party. We could order in pizza, get rid of the hubby and kids for the day and just have a blast. In fact, with that much woman-power we could probably do the dining room and living room windows too! LOL (just kidding all)

Sharing my gift with you

2005-09-13T15:12:00.000-04:00

Caelestic charisma (God’s gift)

God gave me a gift the other night. I want to share this gift with you as it shouldn’t be just mine to keep.

A couple of weekends ago at about 7:30 in the evening we finally stopped working on the house and decided to make a run to Lowes for materials and to Walmart to restock our almost bare cupboards. My daughter was staying at Grandma’s because she wanted to help her can tomatoes so it was only the three of us going.

We seemed to be in Lowes for a long time. It’s so hard to get me out of that store sometimes. I think we left Lowes around 9:30. By the time we left Scott was complaining of his legs hurting and needing some rest so he offered to wait in the car with Trev while I shopped for the necessities myself. Now that I think about it, I specifically asked him to let me out at the door and then go park as I was getting pretty tired myself. How silly that I felt that I just couldn’t walk 50 feet to the door and make it out of the store alive.

Soon after going in and browsing I realized, wow, this is kind of peaceful, I’m going to take my time. They will probably fall asleep in the car anyway and it’s not often that I get to shop all by myself. So I did. I was in there for a long time. My feet were starting to really hurt. After filling my cart ½ way with “stuff”, I finally made it over to the grocery section and as I was coming around a corner I saw a man, not much older than myself, pushing his severely handicapped son who looked to be between 17 and 20 years old, in a wheelchair and pulling the grocery cart behind him. My first thought was to offer to take the cart and help him throughout the store. Why didn’t I do that? I remember feeling so awful for him and also wondering why he would be out shopping at that time of night. I now realize that it is probably much easier to shop late and get around the store with his burdens (why did I think to use that word?), I realize now that that is probably not as he sees it. I’m sure he doesn’t feel his son is a burden, the grocery cart maybe but his son he probably feels is a blessing. I'm quite sure he feels that way.

We both went our separate ways. A short time later as I struggled with my overflowing cart, thinking how gosh darn heavy it was, I decided I had better leave the store before I couldn’t push the cart even to the checkout lane. As I was unloading my groceries at the checkout counter, I looked over and saw this same man and boy also checking out a few rows over. I was blessed to see this father look down at his son who was looking up at him and kiss him on the forehead as he had probably done a million times. It was wonderful to see him so openly loving to him. No fear of what others would think. I saw a true man that night.

For the first time that I can remember, I needed two grocery carts that night as I had so many groceries and some that I for sure did not want to have squashed. As I struggled trying to turn the carts and maneuver them to the door, through the door (thank goodness for automatic doors) and then continued to struggle, turn and steer the carts to the van that was parked at the opposite end of the building, I thought for a minute that I would never be able to do it. Then once in the parking lot I kept thinking, wow, I’ll never make it there. I don’t think I can do this. I thought “Why tonight of all nights, did Scott not want to shop with me?” I think I know the answer now. I was supposed to receive something special from God and he would not have been able to give it to me if I was not alone.

As I slowly but surely made my way pushing one cart and pulling the other, the same as I witnessed the father of the boy doing with his cart and the wheelchair, I came up behind a very old mini-van that was smoking something terrible. At first I thought it was on fire. It sounded terrible too. My first thought was “Why would anyone drive something like that?” Then “Why don’t they get that fixed?” The driver finally got the engine to remain running and was able to back up and begin to pull away. As he backed up, got closer to me and start to leave, I could see that this was the man and the boy from the store. I instantly felt an overwhelming warmth inside knowing that I been given a gift from God as I quickly came to realize all that I have. I don’t have as many physical possessions as others and yet I have more than some. I not only have my health, I have the health of my entire family to be thankful for. There were several times during the last few hours that I wondered how I would be able to accomplish a task. How many challenges does this man face daily without question and probably without feeling sorry for himself? Determined, I made it to our van with both carts. I looked through the window to see Trevor curled up on Scott, both sound asleep. I leaned against the van and the tears flowed.

Life's Blessings

2005-09-12T09:55:00.000-04:00

Life is good. Some days are uncertain, however the overall picture is beautiful. One of my many blessings is hearing the words "I love you" from my three wonderful children. It makes me feel that I just might be doing some things right. Why do we question our parenting skills as often as we do? We can only try to do the best that we can, show them love and try to teach them the difference between right and wrong.

Mom and Dad have gone camping for a long weekend. I sure hope they are enjoying themselves. I'm so glad that Dad is now retired and they can come and go as they please. Well, to some extent. I know that they still schedule their get-a-ways around all of the the grandkid's school concerts, outings, birthdays, doctor appoints and such. They sure do take good care of all of us. Always have and it seems, always will. Now, if only we could all retire when we are in our 30's. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Tonight is my monthly meeting with my library client that I take minutes for, type up at home and email back. I really enjoy this group. Everyone is very pleasant, professional yet casual and they seem to have a lot of fun getting the job done.

I do have to make a decision. Where to have my home office set up permanently in the new house?? I could use the spare bedroom upstairs on the 2nd floor but then when we had out of town company or when I have my neices over for the night (which I love doing) I would have to move out temporarily. I couldn't possibly take the computer cubby off the dining room that we made for the kids. It's just perfect for keeping the kids closeby while I work in the kitchen making meals or doing dishes. Most importantly....I can see the monitor from my kitchen sink!! >:) Teenager coding will be worthless. I'll be right there! Peering at the screen at any given moment. LOL My daughter is excited about the location now, however I'll bet that in a short period of time she will be requesting internet service in her room. We wired her room for the capability but I just don't think a 12 year old needs internet service in their bedroom. Sorry. I could set up my office in a corner of my bedroom. That would give me the best view out of a large window. Acres upon acres with narry a house that finally comes to a woodline. The bad part would be the hubby wanting to know when I was going to get off of the computer. "I'm trying to sleep!". LOL That won't work. I guess it will have to be the family room downstairs. Granted, it's lighted fairly well, french doors to the patio and 3 large windows but do I want to risk having my office in an area of the house that is vulnerable to snooping children and toddlers that want to "play school" with my office supplies? Oh....the turmoils of having a home business. Good thing there are so many positives to outweight the challenges. :)

What's new in your life? In mine.....

2005-09-08T16:59:00.000-04:00

We are nearing the end of a chapter in our lives. A complete home renovation/addition. Yipppeeee. We all couldn't be happier!!